United Name - Flash Fiction
- Greg Luti
- 7 days ago
- 4 min read
A humorous flash fiction story that reimagines a pivotal moment in American history. In “United Name,” Greg Luti brings the Founding Fathers together as they debate — sometimes heatedly — what to name their new country.
I would like to think that there was one conversation between the Founding Fathers about the development of our country that had more to do with its name and what exactly they would call the country than any pressing matters. As though the back and forth got thrown into the mix because they were in the room together for too long. They seemed to have spent so much time talking about everything else regarding life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness that I imagine one of them would get up and submit the question, “Do we really want to call ourselves the United States of America? Does anyone have a better name than that?”
This is one of the conversations we are never taught in school. It probably happened on a Tuesday mid-morning meeting, in between important matters, too, like how many troops George Washington still has, and how to get the French to help us in the war.
Dickinson, a lesser-known Founding Father, but one nevertheless, stood up and spoke to the room, “Now, gentlemen, I believe we have missed a very basic question for this new nation we dream about. A question so obvious, I am almost insulted to have to bring it up. That is, ‘Do we even want this nation to be called America, or the United States of America?’ I, for one, feel the name is bland and ineffective in telling about what we are all about as a country. We are united states, so we are to call ourselves the United States. That is redundant, and I object to our new nation being called such a thing.”
“Would you rather we be called New Britain?” John Adams responded with a certain roughness that made you wonder if he even liked Dickinson. Adams always had a lot to say in these meetings.
Dickinson ignored Adams. “I only think a nation of great people, who have overcome a great war, deserves a great name, and we are falling short of that expectation.”
“I believe the expectation of any new nation is survival. For if we don’t make it through our creation, what is the use of a catchy name? Can you tell me that?” Adams challenged Dickinson. “I have never heard anyone compliment the name of a nation rather than the merits of its government.”
“We are all intelligent men in this room, for the most part.” Dickinson didn’t mention who on the opposing side he was insulting, but everyone in the room knew it was aimed at John Adams. “Can we not agree that our nation needs to win this conflict to be created? There is not a soul in this room who feels otherwise. I am saying that the name of this nation is not one we all agree with, and we should therefore get to a conclusion we all like.”
John Hancock, who sat at the front of the room, spoke up, “Do you have a name for this nation, aside from the one that has been previously stated by Mr. Jefferson?”
“We do not, Mr. Hancock.”
John Adams rebuked, “Oh, so you have the audacity to mock Thomas’s name, but not enough to come up with your own name?”
“I am not saying I don’t respect the work that Mr. Jefferson has done for this nation. In fact, I think we can all agree that the words he has put down have inspired us all. But that doesn’t mean he is to be the judge, jury and executioner in the name of this nation.”
Ben Franklin took a second to get up out of his chair and responded, “Mr. Dickinson, are we not in America? Do we not live in states? And are those states not united? It appears to me the name United States of America is only natural for our new nation.”
John Adams got up and added, “Either come up with a better name, or we’re keeping it.”
John Hancock got the room’s attention. “Unless Mr. Dickinson or any party in this room can submit another name for the nation, we are going to keep it as is.”
Dickinson bowed his head. “That is fair. I just thought the room should be given an opportunity to speak on the matter.”
Ben Franklin, still standing, spoke to the room. “May I interest this room in another mundane issue troubling my fragile mind?”
Dickinson smiled back and said, “Mr. Franklin, that list may be a bit too big for this congregation.”
Franklin nodded at the other party, noting the harmless joke. “I submit having a bird be the nation’s animal.”
“If we all like the bird, then yes, why not?” Dickinson quickly responded.
“I propose a turkey as the nation’s animal.” Franklin insisted. Both sides started to boo Franklin’s proposal. Even John Adams was shaking his head at the choice. “Very well. I see I may have overstepped my boundaries of efficient banter for this meeting.”
John Hancock got the room’s attention once more. “Very well. We agree that the name of this nation is America, or the United States of America. And we all, most importantly, agree that the nation’s animal will not be a turkey. Can we all move on to more important matters? Possibly about the very war we are still fighting?”
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